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Shock is the only word that can describe my initial reaction to finding out Amy was pregnant. Once I comprehended that situation I only had concern for my brother and best friend. I knew if I got upset or sad that it wouldn’t change the situation, and whatever was going to happen was not up to me. There were so many unknown factors at the time but all I could think of was how scared they must have been. My heart went out for them and I just wanted to do whatever I could to be there for the both of them.

Describe your first impressions of when you met them?

The very first time I met Don and De was at my parents Christmas party. They were introduced to me as if they were just any other friends of my parents. I thought they seemed like a very nice couple but had no idea at the time that they were interested in adopting and would later become such a big part of our lives.

How did you prepare for the birth & adoption of Deanna?

I really didn’t focus too much on preparation for what was going to happen. There was so much that went on throughout the pregnancy and I felt like my only responsibility was to handle each situation as calmly as I could. I had watched all the people I care about struggling so much and I really didn’t feel like I needed to add to it. I tried to put all of my personal emotions aside and just be there for those who mattered most to me.

What did your friends say about the adoption?

The most common reactions I got from my friends were things like: “I don’t understand” “Isn’t that going to be hard?” and “Oh my gosh, I could never do that.” My only response was usually along the lines of “You don’t have to understand. I don’t know exactly how everything will happen but I know it will work out.”

As much as it upset me that my friends said things like this I knew it wasn’t about them. It was about a Robbie/Amy, Don/De and a beautiful little girl that was about to come into the world and that was the only thing that mattered.

How did you adjust to the adoption?

I think that I adjusted pretty well. There were certain situations that I felt in different. I think the balance between Deanna’s adoptive extended family and my family was difficult for everyone at first. The hardest part was watching Amy, Robbie, and my family struggle. We all knew it was going to be hard, but watching them go through the difficult times was hard to see. You never want to see anyone you care about be hurt, but I just did what I could to support them and stay as strong as I could.

How do/did you tell people about the adoption?

I talk about Deanna a lot, and I refer to her as my niece, and then the questions begin: Which of your siblings has a child? I simply say, my brother had a child and she was adopted, but its an open adoption so we still have a relationship with her. I don’t like simplifying it into those few words, because it truly is so much more than that but I have found it’s the only way I can. If people ask more, as they often do, I answer whatever questions they have. I absolutely love telling people and explaining the adoption because it truly is miraculous.

What has contact been like since Deanna was born?

When Deanna was first born and we were living just a few minutes away we saw her quite often. I remember being so excited when I even got a few offers to babysit. Anytime with her was so special to me but one on one time meant so much to me. I always wanted to stay strong and be supportive throughout the whole pregnancy/adopting and when Deanna arrived I still felt like I had to continue that role, but when it was just her and me I got to know her and build my own relationship with her which means the world to me.

What event stands out in your mind about our journey? (whether funny, silly, serious, sweet)

So many things transpired throughout the entire journey; so many different events, decisions, emotions and feelings. It’s difficult to pick out any one of them. One funny thing that sticks out though is when I was still just getting to know Don and De, and we were talking about when Deanna was born and taking her to NC State football games. Don said that he was going to make a shirt that said “#34 is my baby’s Daddy.” It made me laugh and immediately I thought, I like this guy…..this could work.