De
When you found out about Robbie and Amy, what did you think?
That I needed another glass of wine... During an engagement party for our mutual friends Billy and Mary, Mary Beth asked if she could talk to me about something – and boy, I didn’t see that one coming! I can still see the two of us sitting in her bathroom, her crying, us talking about everything and my mind racing about what I had just heard...that Robbie and Amy wanted to meet us.
Describe your first impressions of when you met each other?
How young they seemed, and also how mature they were to consider even meeting us.
What ‘clicked’ when you met each other?
This question makes me smile... I don’t know that I can say anything in particular – but I just seemed to be comfortable with meting them. And then when Amy asked me to go to the dr. appointments, that was very special to me.
Why did you trust them?
I just did... God works in mysterious ways... And if you don't let your guard down and trust someone, why would you consider even moving forward with anything - esp. something like this?
Why did you choose open adoption?
From talking to friends that had and/or had been adopted, it seemed to be a special opportunity to have an open situation where Deanna would know everything and everyone. And when Deanna wants to ask all the normal questions, she can go straight to the sources – Amy and Robbie.
How did you form a bond throughout the pregnancy?
One of the things was I was able to go to the dr. appointments with Amy & Mary Beth. After each appointment it seemed neat to talk about what the doctor said and how the baby had grown, etc. I also remember one of those times Amy asked if we would consider using her middle name, Marie for the baby’s middle name - which we did!
What did you find you had in common?
Amy and I are the same height, but she and Don have the bright blue eyes. Robbie and I have brown hair and brown eyes. (And he and I also have squincy eyes when we smile : )
Our families are similar too – Amy and my family are quiet, while Robbie and Don’s are not : )
It was a neat bond that Robbie played football for NC State where Don graduated and where we have lifetime rights and season tickets!
And it turns out that Deanna and I have the same blood type : )
How did you prepare for the birth & adoption of Deanna?
Don and I talked and prayed, but it was just one day at a time... I always told Amy, "No matter what decision you make - whether you keep the baby or choose Don and me to be her Daddy and Mama, don't ever let anyone tell you it was a mistake."
Another thing, we had a combination baby and college shower. I remember Amy getting a bikini and I got baby clothes – tee hee!!!
How did you feel when you left the hospital?
Scared, excited and worried about driving by myself with a 3 day old baby in the car. Don also had his car, but I was so thankful Rush was on... His voice calmed me down : )
I also felt sad for Amy... I felt guilty for taking a part of her heart even though I knew she and her mom were coming to our house later that day.
What did your family say about the adoption?
Everyone was very excited, but didn’t want to go overboard since we weren’t going to be 100% sure until everything was final.
What did your friends say about the adoption?
Everyone seemed to say how God had blessed us with such a small world/unbelievable opportunity! Robbie’s dad Rob, who worked with Don’s best friend Billy, offered to put us in contact with his sis-in-law, an OB-GYN who had placed several babies. Then how neat it was that it was his son that we ended up meeting : )
How did you adjust to the adoption?
On a funny note, when I would take Deanna out, people would always comment on how great I looked for just having a baby!
On a serious note, words can’t describe how I fell in love with the tiny baby that grabbed my finger and stopped crying when I sang to her shortly after she was born. Wow... such a special and selfless gift changed our lives. I look at Deanna every day and say a prayer for her, Robbie and Amy for helping me become the Mama I didn’t know if I would ever be.
How do/did you tell people about the adoption?
Well...everyone knew what was happening, so there was nothing to tell.
But it is funny that since we have moved, I forget people don’t know our story. I must seem like a deer in the headlights when people ask who certain people: are they related to Don or me? What about the details of my pregnancy? But when it comes up, I love to share our special story!!!
What questions do people always ask you about the adoption?
Main question is, "Can they ever get Deanna back?" Second is, "Are Amy and Robbie still together?"
How did you agree on visitation after the birth?
I don't know if we ever really said anything other than our doors are always open....
How did you really know that they were going to keep their promise?
I don’t think we ever had a promise – and we prayed a lot about wanting God’s will to be done.
How did you know you made the right decision?
God has blessed us with a special relationship and there is just a peace about it...
What has contact been like since Deanna was born?
We have been blessed with a wonderful extended family! From sleepovers, tailgating at football games, weekends at the beach and more, Deanna has met and knows all five sets of grandparents, her 2 sets of great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course “Amy Hutton” and “Wobbie Len-ard.”
What event stands out in your mind about our journey? (whether funny, silly, serious, sweet)
That it is such a neat thing to be able to see where things come from.... Like the way Deanna smiles, that it looks Just Like Amy! Or if she stands a certain way, she looks just like Robbie... (Still looking for where her toes come from though LOL!)
Also during the hospital stay, Amy called out in the middle of the night, “De? The baby is crying.” While it might not sound funny, we still laugh about it today.
