Don
When you found out about Robbie and Amy/Don and De, what did you think?
Describe your first impressions of when you met each other?
What ‘clicked’ when you met each other?
They just seemed like very nice and smart young people.
What did you trust them?
There was no reason not to trust them. They were doing what they thought were right and made no promises.
Why did you choose open adoption?
Open adoption really chose us. I think when we started we talked about it being open initially and slowly pulling back. It kind of played out and everything felt natural as it developed.
How did you form a bond throughout the pregnancy?
Mainly just hanging out and getting to know each others. Also discussing with them what we wanted and what they wanted in an open and honest way.
What did you find you had in common?
It seemed we can from similar families and similar values.
How did you prepare for the birth & adoption of Deanna?
Spoke to others that had open adoption.
How did you feel when you left the hospital?
I felt guilty initially. I saw how hard this was for Amy and Robbie and felt I was feeling I had taken something from them. I also felt unworthy to receive such a precious gift.
What did your family say about the adoption?
Everyone was very supportive.
What did your friends say about the adoption?
Most were very supportive. Some were worried about the open part.
How did you adjust to the adoption?
I didn't have to it felt natural.
How do/did you tell people about the adoption?
It's funny I am not ashamed or secretive but I do not share it with everyone. I do not want Deanna to be ashamed or feel self conscience about being adopted but I don't want it over stressed so it defines her. It is part of her but it's a minor part in my opinion.
What questions do people always ask you about the adoption?
Are you afraid the birth parents are going to try and get her back? How do you explain it to Deanna? are the most common. Most people are very positive and curious once I've explained the situation.
How did you agree on visitation after the birth?
We did it by mainly keeping Deanna in mind and being open and honest. This might not work for everyone. Others probably need to be more formal. We have had no issues but every case is different.
How did you really know that they were going to keep their promise?
I don't know if we were promised anything.
How did you know you made the right decision?
I am sure many couples looking to adopt would say and agree to anything in regards to open adoptions but De and I sat down and discussed if we really wanted to hae an open adoption. It was kind of scary because we really didn't know the families that well. We prayed and gave it serious thought. I knew it was the right decision almost immediately.
What has contact been like since Deanna was born?
Great!
What event stands out in your mind about our journey? (whether funny, silly, serious, sweet)
Too many to list, just loving Deanna everyday is a new silly, serious, sweet, and love filled moment. There are times when I see Robbie, Amy, Aunt Michelle, Aunt Allie, and even De and Myself in Deanna.
